I Still Love You
by Silverlily909
Summary: Rachel is not taking her breakup with Finn so well. A Finnchel POV story that takes place after Special Education and during A Very Glee Christmas. Read and review!
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: hey guys here is a possible two chapter story of the Finnchel relationship after the break up. :( I know I am sad too. This takes place after Special Education and during A Very Glee Christmas. Enjoy and please review!_

**Disclaimer**: I do not own glee (I wish I did!) or the song Merry Christmas Darling. I do, however, own this fanfiction. :)

I Still Love You

(Rachel POV)

He left me. All because I did something stupid. What the hell was I thinking getting myself into this situation? I'm not even going to blame it on him. It was not his fault, it was mine. I was too self conceited to even register the fact that he was too sensitive for such a low act. What was I thinking? That if I just told him the truth he'd forgive me and we could get on with our lives? Happily ever after, three of the worlds cruelest words to ever be spewed on parchment. As a little girl you would put your hopes up for a happily ever after. For your 'prince charming' so to speak, to sweep you away to his shining castle where you would fall in love and live peacefully until you die. Well I was deprived of that luxury faster than a nanosecond. Finn, my love, the one I bitterly betrayed, is gone. Gone from me for probably forever.

As I walk the horrendous halls I feel empty, my body still has not registered the fact that there is not a warm body walking beside me. He's gone. I love him. I love him so much it aches, and I sit here crying onto my laptop as I think to myself "Why?"

I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch and that's that. Finn was right to leave me, Finn was right to never want to see me again. He was perfect in my eyes _we _were perfect, but I was blindly wrong with that matter. We were _not_ the perfect couple, and you know why? Because I'm a bitch! I was selfish. My mind was blockaded with the image of Finn running off to some cheerleader, but he would never do that. He genuinely loved me. He loved me to the extent of singing about it in front of hundreds of people he did not know. He loved me to take several slushies to the face. He loved me even if it affected his popularity in this torture we call a high school. He loved me, he loved me, he loved me, he loved me. And what did I do? Crush it. Crush it like all of my chances of people actually liking me in this school. Crush it like Jesse crushed my heart, in the cold most senseless way.

I never deserved him. I never deserved him. I was too caught up in my sophomore fantasy when I was fighting for his attention. I want him back. I want him back so much. Every time I see him in the hall I just want to run into his arms, tell him that I love him, and know that everything is going to be okay. But I can't and that's the bitter truth.

I'm sorry Finn, truly sorry. I love you Finn. I still love you, but you deserve better. I saw the way you looked at Sam and Quinn at Sectionals, how you smiled, but were jealous of their happiness. I get it Finn. I miss you Finn. I was stupid Finn, but I still love you. And I always will.

-Rachel Barbara Berry *

-glee-

(Finn POV)

I blankly stared at the computer screen as if waiting for something to happen. She was a selfish idiot. I mean what the hell was she thinking? That we would run off into the distance holding hands while being engulfed in golden light. I miss her for sure. That I am certain of, but I still am scarred by what she did to me. I was on her blog checking for her latest post, and then it showed up. It was like a letter to me, but she was talking to herself. _I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch and that's that. Finn was right to leave me, Finn was right to never want to see me again. _She is right. She was a bitch, and I am satisfied that she is able to identify that. Hopefully her attitude will change, but I still feel guilty. She was, sorry _is_ the woman I love, but what she did was wrong and she knew that I was sensitive considering the whole Beth situation last year with Quinn. I'm still mending from that.

_He genuinely loved me. He loved me to the extent of singing about it in front of hundreds of people he did not know. He loved me to take several slushies to the face. He loved me even if it affected his popularity in this torture we call a high school. He loved me, he loved me, he loved me, he loved me. And what did I do? Crush it. _She's right, God she's precisely correct. I felt like a hopeless bug that my mother would spot on the wall and squish with a tissue. I do love her, but at the end of the day that act makes it seem like all of my hard work and caring were for nothing. I told her that I was proud she was my girlfriend and it seemed as if she just threw that away. She emphasized the past tense in the sentence she used over and over again. She took advantage of me and crushed my love for her like Karofsky crushes Kurt's confidence whenever he gets shoved into the lockers. Do not even get me started on _that_ topic.

_I'm sorry Finn, truly sorry. I love you Finn. I still love you, but you deserve better. I saw the way you looked at Sam and Quinn at Sectionals, how you smiled, but were jealous of their happiness. I get it Finn. I miss you Finn. I was stupid Finn, but I still love you. And I always will. _Her words there sound really deep, like she is confronting me face to , I'm sorry Rachel, I screwed up not you. I love you too Rachel. I still love you, and only you. I want you back Rachel. I miss you Rachel. You are not stupid Rachel, you just need to learn how to not overreact and I'll do the same. I still love you Rach. And _I always will_.

-Finn Hudson Hummel

-glee-

(Rachel POV)

I blankly stared out the frosty window. Christmas was approaching, not that we celebrated it in my house. My dads persisted that we celebrate Hanukkah and only Hanukkah because of our Jewish background. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my religion and I enjoy the candle lightings and latkes my dad makes. Their fantastic, but when I got to school I feel empty because all of the other kids would talk about Christmas presents and this Santa Claus figure. When I was little I used to hear all of these conversations and become curious. I would ask my dads, but they did not know how to answer because they had been celebrating Hanukkah since they were born. Now I get it. Apparently as you get older the holidays begin to become harder to handle what with school, glee, and…boys. I keep glancing at Finn. He is still being bitter to me and I full expected that, but I hope maybe the Christmas season will soften him up and I'll get him back.

Last week I tore down our photos that hung in my locker. They sit mocking me in a manilla folder on top of my desk. My friends keep asking me what I want, but I just smile and shake my head. I really want to be in the Christmas spirit, but my broken heart id holding me back. I've decided to give Finn a present in hopes that it will cheer him up.

-glee-

(Finn POV)

My favorite time of the year has finally arrived! Christmas time is here, but for some reason feels empty like I'm missing something. Maybe it's because Kurt is at Dalton or maybe…She keeps glancing at me, in a longing sad type of way, and that hurts me inside. I saw her tearfully clearing her locker of our photos and her removing the necklace I gave her. She had grasped it tightly and then kissed it before shutting it in her locker. I broke her, no worse than that, _she _broke me. This holiday is supposed to make everything disappear, but I still have this longing for her to be next to me. If only….well for now all I can do is let myself heal before going back to her. My brain is telling me to wait, but my heart wants me with her again. It is like there is a war going on inside of me except there are no shootings like in Call of Duty 4. Maybe things will change in time.

-glee-

(Rachel POV)

I had the perfect idea and gift for him. I was hoping he would get the message of the song, but before I could even sing it he turned me down. What can I do? I need him, but how is he to know?

-glee-

(Finn POV)

I was leaving the auditorium when she decided to sing even though I had turned down her gift to me. She was trying to win me back. I am not sure if she has done that yet, but she seems desperate. I listened to the song she sang. It made complete sense and I regret not sitting next to her as she sang it to me, but I need my space right now. I stood in the doorway listening.

_Greeting cards have all been sent_

_The Christmas rush is through_

_But I still have one wish to make_

_A special one for you_

_Merry Christmas darling_

_We're apart that's true_

_But I can dream and in my dreams_

_I'm Christmas-ing with you_

_Holidays are joyful_

_There's always something new_

_But every day's a holiday_

_When I'm near to you_

_The lights on my tree_

_I wish you could see_

_I wish it every day_

_Logs on the fire_

_Fill me with desire_

_To see you and to say_

_That I wish you Merry Christmas_

_Happy New Year, too_

_I've just one wish_

_On this Christmas Eve_

_I wish I were with you_

_I wish I were with you_

Give it some time. I'll let her in eventually if she does not do anymore damage. Hopefully.

_Author's Note: I'll have the next chapter up super fast I promise. I hope you enjoyed, please review, and check out my other stories! :) _


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: hey guys thank you sooo much for the awesome views and hits. It made my week honest! I'm sorry that I didn't post immediately, but here it is. You are awesome for being patient and i like to thank my reviewers. You guys are the best! Enough rambling and on with chapter 2! =)_

Chapter 2

(Rachel POV)

I can't stop looking at him. Just this afternoon the glee club had entered the choir room to a horrid sight. Some heartless shrew, I suspect Sue or Karofsky and Azimio, decided to ruin our tree and presents. We were trying to clean the mess while I was holding back bitter tears. All of the beautiful glass ornaments were smashed to shards, the tree branches were chopped brutally to pieces, even our sheet music was shredded and the piano was vandalized with spray paint. Of all the people in the world, who would be so cruel at such a merry time of year? I glance at Finn again and he looks more upset than I am. After all this is his favorite holiday, and the least I can do is make it up to him.

-glee-

(Finn POV)

I'm seriously depressed by this whole tree business. Who gave someone the authority to trash the place and leave? I mean what the hell we worked so damn hard to make the room very bright and festive for some children who don't have a great Christmas. I just could not believe it! She's looking at me again. It kills me that I'm still mad at her for what she did to me, and I just want to yell at her and run away, but I can't do that to her. I love her for God's sake! I wish that sometimes our relationship wasn't so difficult, but that's Rachel for you.

Kurt asks me how I put up with her, but that was back when he had a major, and I mean _major,_ crush on me. It kinda creeped me out, but now I am cool with it because he got over me, is my step brother, and is off at Dalton Academy probably with a ton of boys swooning over him. I have nothing against the school, I just think that staying in a boarding school with a bunch of boys for a certain period of time could lead you to homosexuality. Don't tell Kurt I said that!

Now she is coming over to me what in the bitter hell does she want? I think she should just back off for a while. I need some space so that I can think about what is going on in my brain before I even consider letting her back into my life.

-glee-

(Rachel POV)

I'm looking up at his tall figure and into the warm brown eyes I love and miss. I'm trying my best to impress him, but the vibe iIm getting off from him is that he is really irritated by my failed attempts. The smell of pine comforts me as we walk awkwardly together. What do I say to get him back? That it's Christmas and it was time for him to forgive me? Right now I'm just lost and desperate. Finn, I want you back….

-glee-

(Finn POV)

Is she serious? It is like she doesn't want to give me space. A song plays above my head as I test out trees, and I can't help but sing along. The song seems to help me express what I am feeling.

_Last Christmas_

_I gave you my heart_

_But the very next day, you gave it away_

_This year_

_To save me from tears_

_I'll give it to someone special _

_Once bitten and twice shy_

_I keep my distance_

_But you still catch my eye_

_Tell me baby_

_Do you recognize me?_

_Well_

_It's been a year_

_It doesn't surprise me_

_(whispered) Christmas,_

_I wrapped it up and sent it _

_With a note saying "I love you"_

_I meant it_

_Now I know what a fool I've been_

_But if you kissed me now_

_I know you'd fool me again _

_Last Christmas_

_I gave you my heart_

_But the very next day, you gave it away_

_This year_

_To save me from tears_

_I'll give it to someone special_

_Last Christmas_

_I gave you my heart_

_But the very next day, you gave me away_

_This year_

_To save me from tears_

_I'll give it to someone special_

The song made perfect sense. I gave her my heart and she gave it away. We ended up singing the song to each other in the center of the trees. When we finished she told me that last year for Christmas she asked for me. My heart broke at that statement. Doesn't she understand how screwed up I am? Doesn't she see that I need some space for a while. Then she kissed me. I wanted to be there forever, but my heart told me to pull away. I need to be away from her, but just for a little while. I'm sorry Rachel, but it's what's best if we are to eve get back together again.

-glee-

(Rachel POV)

I kissed him! I kissed him, and…..he pulled away. He permanently left me. I watched him walk away as tears came down again. Was the trip really worth it? I don't know, but all I know is that I probably just screwed myself. I need to see Kurt, maybe he has some advice, or maybe Tina or Mr. Schue…Quinn might be able to help, she's been through this before. I just hope that this isn't forever. I can't live without him.

_Author's note: I hope you liked. Next chapter soon! Have a very Merry Christmas if I don't post by then. =( Remember to read and review and please check out my bestie SakuraUsagi89's profile and stories. We have a collaboration fanfic together. ^_^ Remember o read and review...it keeps me going! Finnchel fans unite! =)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: hey guys Happy New Year! And who heard about Glee winning a Golden Globe along with Chris Colfer? =D I was ecstatic! Any way thank you soo much for the fantastic reviews and comments. It really makes me smile and know at least someone likes my work. You guys seriously rock! Over 1,000 hits for just 2 chapters is a MAJOR step. Lets make it 2,000! (lol no pressure) Anyway on with chapter 3! =D_

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately I do not own glee, its characters, and the song A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton (I wish I did mwhaha), but I do own this fanfiction! :)

Chapter 3

(Rachel POV)

I knew that Christmas was supposed to be filled with miracles and happiness, but it felt like I was carrying a thousand tons everywhere. The weight and pain of losing Finn was unbearable. I knew that it would be long and painful before Finn would decide to let me back into his life. Sure we see each other everyday, and as much as I hate giving up all of the solos Mr. Schue keeps offering we are going to have to sing with each other sooner or later. I always knew that life could be cruel, but I never imagined how painful and heart breaking it would be. At the Christmas party I had stolen one last glance at Finn and he smiled warmly at me. It was like everything was forgotten for that one moment, but the next day it was back to reality. I didn't take that very well.

I've been having nightmares again. I had nightmares after Jesse had left me of Vocal Adrenaline constantly teasing me and egging me whenever I went to my car. I imagined Jesse and my mother standing there laughing as I cried hopelessly for them to stop. I had images of being in a crowded room yelling at the top of my lungs as someone strangled me, but no one would notice. Then I had Finn. I could call him and he would comfort me until I felt better and went to sleep. Now he's gone, and it's all my fault. My dads are getting irritated, but are sympathetic as I wake every night screaming Finn's name and then crying. Not only did I break him, he broke me.

-glee-

(Finn POV)

I feel empty. Its like I see Rachel everywhere I go. In the mall my mother, Kurt and I were getting a gift for Burt and as we passed a store I saw an argyle sweater in the display window. Kurt says it's unhealthy for me to be acting like this. I'm very quiet, don't play video games as often as I normally do and spend most of my time staring out my bedroom window watching fat flakes of snow flutter to Earth delicately. My step brother shows concern. After all the kid had a major crush on me for about a year, and is now good friends with Rachel which still confuses me considering that when he was still going to McKinley they barely acknowledged each other's existence. He brings me my lunch and talks to me. I never knew Kurt could give such good advice. And here I thought all he would know about was fashion and interior design.

-glee-

(Rachel POV)

"-he doesn't leave his room anymore. I think he stares out the window all day," Kurt exclaimed.

"Does he play video games?" I asked concerned.

"No video games, he barely talks and the only person he talks to is me," Kurt said worriedly.

I pressed the cell phone tightly to my ear as I pulled a blanket over my legs shivering from the cold. Our heater was now working for the moment and my dads were talking to the contractor now. Meanwhile it's snowing like crazy outside, and I'm freezing cold.

"This is not natural for him," I stated.

"I suspected you would know that. How have you been doing since you know?"

"I barely sleep anymore. I keep having nightmares like when Jesse dumped me, but these are worse."

"For someone with such a big ego, I have never heard you so broken before."

"When are you returning to school?"

"Tomorrow if this storm lets up. Dalton has a longer break because people from all over the country come to attend the school and it takes longer for some people to get here. I'm really going to miss you though," Kurt said softly.

"Yeah, but you always have my number."

I could hear Kurt's laugh on the other end of the phone, "Anytime my beautiful soprano."

I giggled at his teasing. That was the first time in such a long time I had giggled. Tomorrow I had school, and I was dreading it.

-glee-

(Finn POV)

I knew eavesdropping was wrong, but I could not help myself. The instant the phone rang and mom yelled up the stairs that Rachel called asking for Kurt I had the phone pressed up against my ear. She was worried about me. I know that I am really mad at her and wish she could just disappear, but I instantly became worried the second she told Kurt she was having nightmares. I had witnessed her reaction to Jesse breaking up with her. She tried to stay strong for the team, but you could see the pain, exhaustion and tears behind those faded brown eyes. I had healed her, and protected her from ever getting hurt again. She defended me, told the truth to me, and accepted me for who I was and not for social reasons. Of course I was such an ass and did not tell her about Santana which backfired, but then she went out and cheated on me. The thing that hurts me and fills me up with guilt is that I was protecting her from getting hurt, but then we went and hurt each other.

Her giggle brought me back to reality. The last time she genuinely laughed was at the wedding. It seemed so long ago. So hard to reach. I replayed the events of that day in my head. Then again I should also be mad at Santana. She started this mess by telling everyone who hide it from Rachel which made the situation worse, and she told Rachel. I'm just glad she has Kurt as a friend. He may be gay, but right now it seems like she needs him more than me.

-glee-

(Kurt's POV)

I've never seen them like this. Finn is unnaturally quiet and Rachel sounds like she has been crying for days on end. I feel like I'm in the middle and I feel bad calling Blaine for help. He just laughs at me and tells me how he has to deal with it a lot because he has a younger sister. I must say his advice, and his curly hair are making me fall in love with him and I think he's falling in love with me. That would be the best moment of my life.

I guess I can help Rachel better because my brain is like half female. She sounds more miserable than Finn is. I've heard both of their stories from each viewpoint and right now I'm on Rachel's side. Finn can be dumb, but I never thought he could be _that _dumb. You live and you learn. It at least calms me that Rachel has someone to turn to. These nightmares she describes to me are horrendous and make me think about the Karofsky incident. I swear to you I'm going to hurt Finn one day and I give Rachel full permission to slap him.

-glee-

(Rachel POV)

School's back in session, and I could not stand being in this school anymore. What was I going to do? I am miserable without Finn. Completely and totally miserable. The only place that brought me comfort was the auditorium. I sat at the piano my fingers stroking the porcelain keys. Music normally calmed me and I began to play in hopes of making the guilt, misery, and depression go away.

_Making my way downtown, walking fast_

_Faces pass and I'm home bound_

_Staring blankly ahead, just making my way_

_Making a way through the crowd_

I was into the music my fingers floating over the keys delicately.

_And I need you_

_And I miss you_

_And now I wonder_

The lyrics floated around me and the sound of the piano filled the auditorium.

_If I could fall into the sky_

_Do you think time would pass me by?_

_'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles_

_If I could just see you_

_If I could just hold you_

_Tonight..._

Tears came running down my cheeks as my fingers played the last few notes. I looked up at the auditorium ceiling stating the word I had posted on my blog so long ago.

"I'm sorry Finn, truly sorry. I love you Finn. I still love you, but I was stupid. You didn't deserve me," I said tearfully.

I looked down at the keys letting sobs wrack my body. What was I thinking? He'll never forgive me. My tears splashed down onto the piano keys as I sat there in silence.

"_I wish I were with you_, " I sang softly to myself.

I heard footsteps behind me, but ignored them. I needed to be alone. I felt another lump in my throat as Finn came to mind again. More tears came down as I started to let the sobs take over again.

"Rachel is that you?" asked a familiar voice softly.

_His _voice. Was he actually talking to me? I could feel him getting closer to my position.

"Rach?" he asked as I turned to face him.

His brown eyes caught sight of my thin pale face. My eyes were red-rimmed and puffy and I looked like I had not slept in days.

"Rachel!" he said running over to me.

His large arms wrapped around my tiny frame as I began to sob into his shirt. Why was he here? What could he possibly be doing to make me feel worse about myself?

"So stupid, stupid. Gone, everything gone. Don't deserve me…," I mumbled.

His finger lifted my tear-streaked face up to look at him.

"I'm so sorry. I was hurt and confused, and felt betrayed, but now I realize how I can't live without you. I love you and regret letting you go. Please forgive me," he said softly rubbing my back.

I wanted to be angry. I wanted to yell at him and fall into a giant heap on the stage floor. I wanted to slap him for the nightmares he caused. For a moment I stared deep into his deep brown eyes in hopes he'd see what I've been through. I then let my body take over and timidly leaned forward to catch his lips on mine. I pulled away and he smiled my smile, but only slightly.

"Am I forgiven?" I asked soft tears coming down again.

"Yes," he breathed, "and I promise to love you forever and never let you go again."

I looked up at him and he kissed me softly. Things were almost normal.

-glee-

(Finn POV)

School was different ever since we came back. Rachel was wearing cardigans and jeans instead of her usual skirts. Her hair was always in a loose knot on the side of her head and she looks like she was hit by a truck. She never wears makeup, and at glee club she sits in the back silently looking down at her hands. I could see Quinn talking to her, Tina would shoot me glares in the hall and Artie was ignoring me. I never knew they could care so much about her. I saw her in Ms. Pillsbury's office crying and talking to her. Puck would try talking to me, but I keep pushing him away. I am now sitting next to Mike and Sam during football practice, and end up in Mr. Schue's office during lunch to talk to him. Not only has Rachel screwed up my life, I've screwed hers majorly. At glee club she keeps giving up solos and barely suggest songs. Everyone finds it unhealthy for her 'Rachel' personality and I hear from Kurt she talks to him a good portion of the day. If Kurt was here she would be on him like glue.

It was my lunch period when I passed the auditorium. Of all the years I've known Rachel I know she goes to the auditorium to cheer herself up. I knew I had to apologize. I can't stand being away from her anymore. I hate seeing her so broken, so out of body, so scared. Those nightmares must be killing her.

I heard her sweet voice singing softly. It wasn't as full and powerful as it was before. The piano was playing a beautiful melody as I snuck into the auditorium to watch. What was I doing? I wasn't thinking my body was thinking for me. I sat on one of the red worn out seats and watched her become engulfed in the music. Music calms her better than chocolate or ice cream. Her voice was emotional and kept cracking. When she finished I had the urge to applaud, but held back as I saw her stare up at the ceiling saying those heartbreaking words.

"I'm sorry Finn, truly sorry. I love you Finn. I still love you, but I was stupid. You didn't deserve me."

She started sobbing after that and I knew I had to comfort her. We were alone. She could slap me for all I care, I want her back. I climbed the stage steps cautiously. Her tears splashed down onto the keys of the piano. She looked so vulnerable, so lifeless.

"Rachel is that you?" I managed to choke out.

Her head slowly rose cocking to my voice.

"Rach?" I asked slowly moving closer.

She turned to face me and I saw her face fully. Her hair was in a mess, her brown eyes red-rimmed. Fresh tear tracks were faded into her pale face and dark circles hung under her tear-filled eyes. I know she hurt me, but right now I feel so guilty and heartbroken by the sight of her.

"Rachel!" I said my feet carrying me over to her and my large arms engulfing her in a comforting hug.

She began to mumble to herself and I knew I had to apologize. I lifted her face and pleaded for her forgiveness. She stared deep into my eyes and I saw everything the pain, the crying, the horrendous nightmares, and the longing to be with me. I saw anger, frustration, depression and want. No life, no happiness, no musicality. She was empty without me. Gone ceasing to exist. Then she kissed me, and the world seemed to stop.

_Author's Note: Soooo how'd you like it? Be honest and leave your comments in the review box. More comments equals faster update trust me! Be sure to check out my other stories and come back soon. Until next time...GLEEKS UNITE! _


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: hey guys! thank you sooo much for the support and hits. Over 2,000 hits! Oh my glee! Anyone else excited for the episode tonight? I am! In this chapter is a little Klaine action i hope you like! The nightmare you will read kinda scares me a little. I never knew I had it in me. Anyway on with the story and please review!_

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately I do not own glee, its characters, and the song When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne (I wish I did mwhaha), but I do own this fanfiction! :)

Chapter 4

(Rachel POV)

_It was cold and dark. I was walking on a dark street, alone. This is how they started. How they would always begin. I kept walking though to get home. I saw their pale faces in the distance, my friends. Their faces were like porcelain smooth in a milky white. They watched me with piercing black eyes as smoke floated around their feet. His face stood out. Finn was still his ivory skin tone watching me worriedly as I approached. The Santana figure had her arms on him a knife pressed to his long throat. She was beautiful her olive skin tone glazed over with a glossy milky white tint. Her fingers were curled around the weapon dangerously and her black hair floated behind her like she was in water._

_"Run Rachel!" Finn choked._

_I saw Santana tighten her grip as I moved closer. This time I was determined to confront her. A wicked smile was plastered on her flawless face as I came closer._

_"You should listen to him Rachel," she hissed._

_I knew how this would end, with me running away, not this time. I moved with determination as I reached their position. Santana had the knife pressed so hard to Finn's neck that beads of bright red blood began to glitter in the pale moonlight._

_"Rachel run!" Finn cried as Santana pressed harder._

_"Let him go!" I screamed._

_"Why should I?" Santana said coldly._

_I kept moving forward stupidly. I had to protect Finn, I love Finn._

_"Rachel!" Finn screamed._

_"One more step and he's gone dwarf," Santana sneered._

_"Please let him go!" I screamed tears coming down now._

_"Rach," Finn said weakly._

_I jerked forward and in one movement Santana slit Finn's throat._

_"Finn!" I cried in anguish running to his figure as he collapsed._

_Santana had disappeared and the world changed around me melting into a dark black. I cradled Finn's head in my lap tears splashing on his face as the blood dripped from his body._

_"Finn..,"I whispered crying._

_"R-rach?" he croaked._

_I gripped his cold hand as his brown eyes stared into mine. _

_"He never loved you Rachel. You were his safety net," the Santana figure said in the distance._

_"He was going to come crawling back to me," the Quinn figure said._

_"Who could love a stupid little girl like you?" the Kurt figure asked coldly._

_"I was the one he wanted. He had his first time with me. He bought me dinner. I own him dwarf he's mine not yours," Santana whispered._

_"We never liked you, a voice in the background," the TIna figure said._

_"You're nothing Rachel. You're ugly, a horrible singer, and have no life," the Artie figure sneered._

_"I don't even care about you anymore," the Mercedes figure said._

_"Jesse was right to break your heart. I should too. You mean nothing to us Rachel, to any of us," the Puck figure said._

_"Rachel," Finn croaked._

_I looked down at his dying body my heart breaking._

_"I l-love you," he said softly before his eyes closed for the last time._

_"Finn? Finn!" I cried in anguish. I stared at the black sky as rain poured down on me._

_I was crying when everything faded. What have I done? _

I woke up with a start. I touched my face to feel fresh tear tracks on my face. I had been crying. This don't make sense. He made up with me why do I still have these dreams?

(Finn POV)

I woke up in the middle of the night to a small knock on my bedroom door. For a second I thought it was Kurt, but he's away at Dalton so it'd be impossible. I stood up sleepily and went slowly over to the door. I opened the door rubbing my eyes to see Rachel standing there her cheeks wet and her brown eyes wide. She was shivering.

"R-rach?" I asked tiredly as she ran into me capturing me in a hug.

I stumbled backward into my room wrapping my arms around her tiny frame. She was crying again, but why? I removed myself gently from her grip to shut my door softly. I then led her to my bed where she sat down holding herself as tears came down.

"Rachel. Baby what's wrong?" I asked.

She looked up at me her brown eyes terrified.

"I-I had another-r nightmare-re," she sobbed.

I held her close again as she cried some more. It was apparently worse than I thought, but we were together now why would she be having more nightmares?

"Rachel do you want to tell me what happened in this dream that is making you so upset?" I asked softly.

I felt her nod and I sat on the bed. She crawled into my lap sighing contently.

"It was dark. The glee club was there except they weren't actually there. You were there and Santana had a knife pressed against you throat. I was running. Running to save you and she-" Rachel said her voice quivering.

"What did she do Rach?" I asked quietly.

She looked up at me. Her brown eyes were full of grief and depression.

"She killed you. And then the glee club told me I meant nothing to this world," she said crying again.

She collapsed into my chest gripping my night shirt for dear life.

"Please don't leave me Finn. It breaks me. I love you too much to let you go," she sobbed.

I stroked her hair humming Don't Stop Believing in hopes it'd comfort her. I looked up to see my mom and Burt in the doorway. My mom seemed to understand what was going on, but Burt just watched sadly. I kew he was thinking about if this would happen to Kurt when him and that Blaire kid or whatever his name is were in a relationship. My mother mouthed a "She can stay here I'll inform her dads" and dragged Burt by the elbow to their room.

"I'll never leave you Rachel," I whispered lifting her chin up.

I stared into those brown eyes and kissed her. She sighed against my mouth before pulling away. She yawned and went to lay down. I followed and she cuddled into my chest closing her eyes.

"Good night Finn. I love you," she sighed falling slowly asleep.

I rested my nose in her hair taking in orange blossom and ginger. Her scent.

"I love you too," I whispered.

(Rachel POV)

I walked down the hall to glee club quietly like normal. Quinn had given me occasional smiles and knowing glances. I sat in my normal seat and tried to listen to the lesson, but the dream was still haunting me. Mr. Schue's words ran off in a monotone mumble and I had the urge to sing my feeling in hope of getting ride of these horrible memories.

"Mr. Schuester," I said quietly raising my hand.

The expression on his face was shocked to hear my voice again.

"Yes Rachel?" he asked.

"I'd like to express my emotions in a song please."

He gestured to the front of the room and I whispered something in Brad's ear. He nodded signaling the band who lifted their instruments.

_I always needed time on my own_

_I never thought I'd need you there when I cry_

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lie is made up on your side_

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now?_

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_When you're gone_

_The words I need to hear to always get me through_

_The day and make it ok_

_I miss you_

The glee cub was watching me. My eyes were locked with Finn's as tears came down. He looked like he was going to cry too.

_I've never felt this way before_

_Everything that I do reminds me of you_

_And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor_

_And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do_

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now?_

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_And when you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_And when you're gone_

_The words I need to hear to always get me through_

_The day and make it ok_

_I miss you_

I could tell some people were crying now. Mercedes had tears coming down and I knew she was thinking of Kurt. Quinn was sobbing into Sam's shirt. Beth. She was thinking of Beth.

_We were made for each other_

_Out here forever_

_I know we were, yeah_

_And all I ever wanted was for you to know_

_Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul_

_I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah_

Artie was staring at Tina who was staring back. Their break up.

_When you're gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_And when you're gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_And when you're gone_

_All the words I need to hear will always get me through_

_The day and make it ok_

_I miss you_

Mr. Schue looked like he was going to cry as well. The glee club clapped weakly as I wiped my eyes. Finn stood and engulfed me in a hug.

"I promise," he whispered.

(Finn POV)

Kurt was home for the three day weekend. I was instantly greeted by his bright face when I opened the door, but something was wrong with this picture. No not wrong, different. He walked into the house to find Rachel on the couch she ran over to him engulfing him a big hug. Another boy was behind him.

"Hello I'm Blaine," the boy said extending a hand.

I shook it smiling warmly.

"I'm Finn and this is my girlfriend Rachel," I said gesturing to the two who were in a animated discussion.

We smiled at how well they got along to hear Rachel squeal hugging Kurt again. He was laughing hysterically.

"Oh my God really?" she shrieked jumping up and down.

Blaine was laughing too, but I was still in the dark.

"Ok what's going on?" Burt asked coming in the room.

"Dad!" Kurt said hugging his dad.

"Good to see you kid who's this?" he asked gesturing to Blaine.

"Dad this is Blaine he's my boyfriend," Kurt said smiling happily.

My eyes widened. Boyfriend? Burt was smiling as he shook Blaine's hand. I was happy for Kurt because if he was happy I was happy.

"Hey you hurt him you're dead," I joked as Kurt laughed.

"Wouldn't count on it," Blaine said flashing me a smile.

We had dinner that night. All of us. I smiled at the loving faces around me. Family. I could get used to this.

_Author's Note: Like? Tell your friends! Please comment it makes my day! Until next time! GLEEKS UNITE! :D_


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